Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive
A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive
Bird Face Charlie Sheen was spotted strangling a puppy in a Santa Monica park on Monday while an 8-year-old girl watched in horror nearby, crying hysterically.
April Fools.
However, Bird Face does continue his tradition of douche baggery with his latest plea to the public to boycott ex-wife Denise Richard’s reality show. He’s continually campaigning to bury Richards in the media as a bad mother. Meanwhile, he’s out giving cleveland steamers to Ashley Dupre and publicly dating porn stars. That is, between stints in rehab. We say it’s high time someone calls Sheen on his bullshit.
In legal documents filed in 2006, Richards details Sheen’s physical and psychological abuse, repeatedly threatening to harm her and their children when any mention was made of his addictions to gambling, drugs, hookers and pornography. In February, Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss went public with Sheen’s fetish for taking limo rides with a tranny. She also claims to have video footage. Dear God, please let that video surface. If you do, I promise to never drink again, or steal money from the Jerry’s Kids bucket.
Sheen is a bird-faced, hypocritical douche who thinks he’s above the karma of morality and decency because he’s on a hit show and gets his salad perpetually tossed by Hollywood. I hope a rabid squirrel attacks his bird face. He’s in line right behind Andrea Yates as “Parent Of The Year.”
Poor Girls Gone Wild kingpin Joe Francis. Just as it breaks that The Most Famous Ho In The World was once in his stable of underaged, drunken, breast-baring high-school girls, the smug and condescending DVD pimp is fending off a variety of federal criminal and tax evasion charges. While most of us feared only a severe beating from the father of a single high-school girl for inappropriate touching, Francis turned it into an industry. Meanwhile, his fledgling, Ashley Dupre, is building an enormous career out of blowing a governor and administering yellow discipline to bird-faced Charlie Sheen. It’s like 6 degrees of separation. Ashley Dupre is the new Kevin Bacon.Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the Girls Gone Wild video featuring Ashley. Now you can watch it from the comfort and privacy of your computer, huddled away in a dark corner late at night as the kids sleep, instead of sneakily watching those annoying GGW infomercials, toggling the channel button on the remote to quickly change to the Discovery Channel when your wife walks in.
When Ashley Dupre’s newfound career as The World’s Most Famous Ho crashes in 3….2…..she can always fall back on her other career: stunt double for Stiffler’s mom.
So while dumb toolbox Spitzer thought he was paying $4K for 22-year-old tail, he may have in fact been bamboozled by an old, washed up hooker who’s half way to social security.
Elliot Spitzer grim reaper Ashley Dupre started ho’ing at just 19, reports Jason Itzler, the pimp hand behind the agency that started her career. He also revealed that Ashley was one of his highest earners bringing in as much as $100K per month, discrediting the claim she can’t afford her $4K per month Manhattan apartment. Itzler somewhat coyly mentioned that Ashley had at one time been involved with bird-faced sex addict Charlie Sheen. With talks of 7-figure offers from Playboy and Hustler, and hundreds of thousands of MP3 downloads jump starting her aspiring music career, we’ll be seeing a lot more of this delightful homewrecker.
Elliot Spitzer’s meat puppet, Ashley Dupre, is reportedly a human cash register after it was discovered hoards of internet fans are paying 99 cents to download her MP3’s. Yes, besides peddling vagina she’s also an aspiring singer! With over 200,000 copies sold, she’s well on track to become the next Nicole Scherzinger. After her MySpace page received over 7 million hits, she realized she was about 7 minutes into her 15 minutes of fame and decided to cash in before becoming a mere skidmark in history. Further cementing her position as this generation’s Monica Lewinsky, Larry Flynt has offered her a staggering $1,000,000 to reveal her beef curtains in Hustler.
Meanwhile, Ashley was overheard telling her parents, “see? I told you college was bullshit!”
