Duke Of Web

Skunk-top rock powerhouse biker chick Amanda Overmyer has been cut. The portly curmudgeon who looks like Ann Wilson 60 pounds ago took it like a champ, probably relieved she wouldn’t be subjected to any more choreographed chorus-style Beatles tunes where she is forced to wave her hands in perfect unison with the other hapless contestants. If she’d step beyond her comfort zone and experiment with other genres she’d be well-suited to step into the niche vacated by Linda Perry when she stopped performing in favor of producing. Leave it to America to whitewash anything interesting or different.

Meanwhile, smug butt-rocker David Cook conjured up Peter Frampton by using a vocoder during his performance. He sucked at it, both literally and figuratively. His hair was, once again, perfectly messy with bangs carefully combed downward to conceal a quickly receding hairline.

A baked Jason Castro turned in an interesting performance as a latin dude with dreads singing in French. At the right angle he looks like Julia Roberts after 6 months of pushing a shopping cart around Haight-Ashbury.

David Archuleta, looking like a young and dapper Andrew Lloyd Weber, redeemed himself by remembering his lyrics. We continue to be amazed at his rapid-fire tongue movement. He must have really dry lips. Like a gecko engulfing a grasshopper, it almost requires a stop-motion camera to witness.

Dancing with the stars came back for it’s 6th season on Monday with the wackiest cast yet. First, there’s magician Penn Gillette, who apparently is trying to pull off his biggest trick yet: making his career disappear. Also joining the crew is missing link Adam Corolla, who was lucky enough to be paired with returning dancer Julianne Hough. Adam gave some creepy commentary on the Howard Stern Show this morning, explaining how he uses his knee to molest the unwitting 19-year-old blond bombshell under the guise of “dance practice.” The very limber Julianne can be seen here administering some type of weird ninja judo move to last year’s partner Apolo Ohno, olympic speed skating champ and purveyor of hip Dave Navarro-inspired facial hair (seen here enjoying what is surely a spectacular view). While it may appear she’s about to snap his neck with her powerful yet lovely thigh, unfortunately this did not happen.