Duke Of Web

Bird Face Charlie Sheen was spotted strangling a puppy in a Santa Monica park on Monday while an 8-year-old girl watched in horror nearby, crying hysterically.

April Fools.

However, Bird Face does continue his tradition of douche baggery with his latest plea to the public to boycott ex-wife Denise Richard’s reality show. He’s continually campaigning to bury Richards in the media as a bad mother. Meanwhile, he’s out giving cleveland steamers to Ashley Dupre and publicly dating porn stars. That is, between stints in rehab. We say it’s high time someone calls Sheen on his bullshit.

In legal documents filed in 2006, Richards details Sheen’s physical and psychological abuse, repeatedly threatening to harm her and their children when any mention was made of his addictions to gambling, drugs, hookers and pornography. In February, Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss went public with Sheen’s fetish for taking limo rides with a tranny. She also claims to have video footage. Dear God, please let that video surface. If you do, I promise to never drink again, or steal money from the Jerry’s Kids bucket.

Sheen is a bird-faced, hypocritical douche who thinks he’s above the karma of morality and decency because he’s on a hit show and gets his salad perpetually tossed by Hollywood. I hope a rabid squirrel attacks his bird face. He’s in line right behind Andrea Yates as “Parent Of The Year.”