Hilarious News Item

Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive

Today's Darwin Award

A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive

Duke’s Daily Double

James Franco and John Holmes

James, seen here at the red carpet premier of Snow Angels, invokes the spirit of 70’s porn legend John Holmes with his badly groomed mustache and hooded leather jacket. The connection between these two entertainment giants is uncanny. Holmes had a giant tool, and Franco is a giant tool. OK, maybe he’s not a tool in real life but he’s real convincing in Spiderman.

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