Hilarious News Item

Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive

Today's Darwin Award

A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive

Duke’s Daily Double

Zahara Jolie-Pitt and Emanuel Lewis

Unless you missed him kicking David Spade’s ass in 2003’s Dicky Roberts: Child Star, you’d probably guess that Emmanuel Lewis was just another diminutive, bitter African-American former child star who’s growth was stunted by fetal alcohol syndrome. But that would mean you missed the TV magic that was Webster, a 1980’s sitcom starring Lewis as a black orphan taken in by former NFL star Alex Karras. Luckily for little Sahara Pitt-Jolie, adopted daughter of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Lewis’s scarcity on TV as of late will mean that nobody will point out that she looks just like the midget former child star. Except we just did.

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