Hilarious News Item

Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive

Today's Darwin Award

A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive

Exclusive Photo! Demi Moore Receives Leech Therapy

Demi Moore reportedly keeps her grandmotherly skin looking youthful and vibrant by subscribing to leech therapy, a process in which blood-sucking leeches are placed on her skin to suck the toxins out of her blood. After a tireless search for evidence, it’s confirmed! This amazing photo reveals Demi Moore receiving leech therapy.

The leech is seen here sucking, just like he did in The Guardian. The head apparatus would suggest he tore himself away from sucking long enough to watch a Rock Of Love marathon starring Brett Michaels. The host appears a bit delirious and disoriented due to the loss of blood, but her skin looks wonderful.

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One Response to “Exclusive Photo! Demi Moore Receives Leech Therapy”

  1. Karlie Says:

    well goddammit, where are the leaches? i want leaches! and by ‘leaches’ i mean ‘ashton kutcher’

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