Hilarious News Item

Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive

Today's Darwin Award

A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive

Minnie Driver Puts Out

Add Minnie Driver to the list of Hollywood starlets getting knocked up as of late. And no, we don’t mean Vern Troyer on a bigwheel. Minnie is the English actress best known for her role in 1997’s Good Will Hunting opposite Matt Damon, who later went on to sample her curds and whey in real life. She also bares a slight resemblance to metal god Ronnie James Dio circa 1986. She hasn’t revealed the seed donor, but we can only hope the baby looks suspiciously like Ben Affleck. Perhaps she can carpool to lamaze with Jamie Lynn Spears.

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