Duke Of Web

Newsflash: Violet Baudelaire, the inventive teenage vixen from 2004’s Lemony Snickets, A Series Of Unfortunate Events is now 19-years-old. We offer this information as a public service, first because she’s been off the radar for a few years, and secondly so you don’t feel like such a lecherous pedophile for ogling her amazing pillowy lips when horror film A Tale Of Two Sisters is released later this year. Despite whispers of a Lemony Snickets sequel, it is unlikely Emily would be re-cast as the Baudelaire orphan. She was a mere 15-years-old during the shooting of the first film. Were she to return in the role now, Jim Carrey would probably have to kidnap her and dress her in cellophane and hold her in a dark, dank basement, subjecting her to forbidden erotic pleasures. That’s how our version would go, anyway.