Duke Of Web

Caught Carrot Top at the Luxor in Las Vegas recently where he’s under contract. It was actually a pretty good show, even though he still uses the same “I’m Wendy” gag from 13 years ago. But unlike then, he’s disturbingly yoked now. I guess he didn’t take a page from the Joe Piscopo biography, “How To Ruin A Comedy Career By Getting Yoked.” Muscles aren’t funny. Well, Lou Feringo is funny, but only when he talks. Actually, I’d like to see a remake of The Incredible Hulk where Nicole Kidman catches Keith Urban snorting coke, gets really pissed off, and morphs into Carrot Top. Then helicopter spins Keith Urban and slams him through a plate glass window for trying to sound like he’s from Kentucky.

Anyone else notice the creepy resemblance between American Idol contestant Danny Noriega and Jessica Alba? They have something else in common. They both like penis. Damn you Noriega, not only for your rendition of Tainted Love that made every heterosexual man in America cringe in discomfort, but also for ruining a perfectly good fantasy. We can only hope that tomorrow night finds you catapulted back into obscurity, serving up popcorn chicken or working in a nail salon.

If you’re reading this post and did not take the Guess That Rack quiz…..don’t cheat! Defy all good sense and leave this gallery of hooters immediately! Take the quiz first here.

So how did you rate? Whether you’re a nipple novice or nuts for knocker, we hope you enjoy this gallery of gazoombas. The numbers correspond to the quiz photos. Maybe you’ll recognize these hoots when attached to the faces of their owners.