Four months after being declared brain dead due to an ATV accident, a 21-year-old Texas man decided to wake up as doctors prepared to harvest his organs for transplant. Somewhere laid up in a hospital is a bitter and disgruntled former heroin addict, pissed off because he's not getting that new liver after all. ....News Archive
A man charged with stalking Tyra Banks has been ordered to stay away from the talk-show host or face going to jail. Brady Green has been stalking Banks since January. In related news, Tyra Banks was charged with stalking a buffet line. ....News Archive
If ever Hollywood decides to turn 70’s iconic cheesefest TV show The Love Boat into a blockbuster feature film, who better to reprise the role of fun-loving bartender Isaac than American Idol’s Chikezie? My version would borrow from The Poseidon Adventure. Everyone meets their demise in a watery grave except the bubbly Julie McCoy.
The gay stripper has been cut. In a shocking turn of events, David Hernandez was given the boot Wednesday night after America voted to end the torture perpetrated week after week by the twitchy, annoying goat-boy. After being cut, Hernandez offered this gem of wisdom:
“Things happen for a reason. This isn’t it for me. You’ll see me at the top.”
Actually he’s right. Things do happen for a reason. And that reason is that Hernandez sucks. We are more likely to see him as a top rather than at the top.
Weekly Synopsis:
The country girl Christy Lee Cook is getting hotter week by week, surely starving herself into an anorexic stupor as she is immersed in the Hollywood lifestyle. We can only hope some scandalous photos surface soon. Please though, no more Chipmunks-inspired Beetles songs.
David Archuleta almost screwed his chance to be the next Rick Astley by forgetting his lyrics. And who else has noticed his bizarre snake-like rapid tongue movement.
David Cook continues to delight with his pompous brand of grandstanding emo rock and gay camera mugging.
Brooke White, while not a spectacular performer, continues to inspire fantasies as the girl who works at Starbucks you secretly want to nail.
Amanda Overmyer still sounds like she just ate an entire carton of cigarettes. I pray that in coming weeks she is forced to pick from the Duran Duran catalog in yet another themed show.
The Dreadlock Kid was pretty good. He appears perpetually stoned, which probably helps curve his overwhelming desire to punch Paula Abdul in the head.
It’s been revealed that American Idol season 7 contestant David Hernandez has a secret past as a “male review” dancer at Dick’s Cabaret in Phoenix, Arizona. According to the club manager, he ended his stint in 2007. This is a newsflash? Come on people, do the math. He sang Celine Dion last night.
The E! network continues it’s tradition of ground-breaking television by serving up another steaming pile about a celebrity nobody cares about. Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina is slated to star in a yet-untitled reality vehicle that promises to be big competition for watching paint dry.
Ne’r has a more ill-advised PR move been devised. Highbrow French design company Louis Vuitton has named Keith Richards as their “new face.” After all, nothing says rock-n-roll like a $3,000 hand bag. Maybe they’ve run out of leather and are actually making the handbags from Richard’s weathered, leathery face. What’s next….Aaron Carter as the new face for Clearasil?
