Duke Of Web

Elliot Spitzer’s meat puppet, Ashley Dupre, is reportedly a human cash register after it was discovered hoards of internet fans are paying 99 cents to download her MP3’s. Yes, besides peddling vagina she’s also an aspiring singer! With over 200,000 copies sold, she’s well on track to become the next Nicole Scherzinger. After her MySpace page received over 7 million hits, she realized she was about 7 minutes into her 15 minutes of fame and decided to cash in before becoming a mere skidmark in history. Further cementing her position as this generation’s Monica Lewinsky, Larry Flynt has offered her a staggering $1,000,000 to reveal her beef curtains in Hustler.

Meanwhile, Ashley was overheard telling her parents, “see? I told you college was bullshit!”