Duke Of Web

Smug sourpuss Victoria Beckham is the new face behind the latest Marc Jacobs campaign. Here she is in a recent ad, struggling to hold up a $2000 hand bag with her scrawny, orange-tinted, malnourished arms. A formidable piece of tail back in the original Spice Girl days, she’s now just one bone through the nose away from joining a Polynesian tribe. Besides sporting an always-present facial expression that looks like she just ate a spoon full of dog shit, she’s exhibiting other bizarre behavior like running around with scientology robots Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Meanwhile, perpetually injured soccer star husband David Beckham continues to build his empire by making uncomfortable guest appearances on Snoop Dog’s Fatherhood and pimping his new cologne line. If a fiery meteor should crash into the earth, please let it land on their twenty-two-million-dollar Italian Villa overlooking Beverly Hills, before rolling down into the valley to engulf the home of David Hasselhoff in cosmic radiation.